Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I'm concerned you're tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.

- C. C. Baxter, The Apartment

Monday, September 12, 2011

1st & last

the perfect job should be, above all things, delicious.

Tobacco Dip Taste Test

I have a 2 visit tobacco dip taste test, that pays $75 on 2nd visit.
1st visit you pick up product & take home to try and fill out a questionnaire
2nd visit you turn in the completed questionnaire and receive $75 cash
to see if u qualify, email me the following: (note, if you do not supply all the info, I will delete your email and not call you)
1st & last name
age and gender
brand, flavor and what cut length or pouch user
MOST IMPORTANT: phone #
tempting...but i sure as hell won't tell a complete stranger that i'm a pouch user. my mother doesn't even know.

looks looking look

this sounds like the hardest way to make thirty bucks.
I'm making a short film (very short) that I believe will take an hour or so to shoot. You take home $30.00 for a very easy days work plus a small meal.
I need either a man or woman who looks between 18 to 22 years old and is androgynous looking.
Examples of the look I'm trying to find:
* Pee Wee Herman
* Bjorn Andresen
* Justin Bieber
* Leif Garret
* Tim Curry
* Bill Kaulitz (Tokio Hotel)
* Chris Crocker
This role requires no acting ability, only a willingness to peform some very modest stuntwork so please only people with no back problems or recent surgeries need apply.
on second thought, i'll do anything for a small meal.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

you'll be fine

we're searching for the perfect location here in good ol' film country. it must be an unoccupied farmhouse on lots of wild land with an old tobacco barn close at hand. easy as a wink.

spotted by one of the trusty folk working on the film, we found some old houses, completely empty, and only had to go to the county clerk to find out the owner...which prompted this email from the producer:

If you could stop by the home of [the property owners] and tell them we'd like to be in touch with them and tell them as much about the project as you like & get some information..

I'll give them a call if you can get a number.

thank you!!!!!!!!
i was to go out and approach some unsuspecting people and inform them i knew they owned some property and that we wanted to use it for a film. good times.

they did not live on the property, so i had to search for the home in town. i found the street and there were tons of newly built neighborhoods all over the place and i couldn't find their address for anything. i drove back and forth on this street until i finally saw that the little dirt path in a clump of trees was actually a driveway - and the driveway i was searching for.

i took a breath and figured that the film would compensate me for any bullet holes i acquired on the job, and drove down a long, narrow, dirty and gravelly driveway to find...a caboose, a house with a golf cart secured onto the front porch, seven garages of various sizes, hanging art, and flowers.

so, of course, i got out of the car and headed for what i felt was the front door. i knocked once. nothing stirred. and i promptly returned to my car.

i drove to a near walgreens and wrote out a note, attempting to seem casual and not at all psychotic, and drove back and slipped it in their mailbox which sat safely on the side of the road.

i informed the producer of my quest and he wrote back:

thaaanks
could you circle back there at the end of the day? or is it too far from you?
i explained to him that distance was not the issue, but that i felt extremely uncomfortable returning, since these people seemed to live off the grid (even though they were feet from neighboring yards). he understood and went out himself...

i haven't heard from him since.