the sendoff speech

tomorrow, the filming begins on this commercial.

tonight, the producer asked for all of the production team, pa's, etc gathered to inform us that we were 'the worst, most chaotic team' she's ever worked with.

combing through the night

last night i came back from 'driving' all day and it was only about 6 or so, so i asked for something to do. my superior told me that there wasn't anything to do at the time, but to 'hang out.'

i hung out.

at 7, i was given the task to go and pick up dinner for everyone. i did that.

then at 7:45, i was given another task to go and pick up another dinner for the producer who didn't eat when the others ate.

back in the office at 8, i hung out some more.

and then i was given the great assignment to purchase a comb for the aforementioned producer. she required a 'wide-tooth' comb. it was 8:30, but it seemed like an easy enough task because, in the hotel (where the commercial main office is), there was a little gift shop, and indeed they carried hair products.

i walked the maze through the hotel and found the gift shop and saw that they had a 'fine-tooth' comb and a brush. this was not what the producer wanted, but i thought that there may be a chance that because it was late and this was so random, that she would say, 'you know what? the brush will work for now and if you could get me a comb tomorrow...'

i went to the counter with both the comb and the brush and asked the girl working there if the gift shop allowed returns. she replied, 'the brush is 5.81 and the comb is 2.11.'

i said, 'can i return them?'

'you're returning these?'

'no, i want to buy them now, but will probably have to return at least one, but maybe both.'

'but if i gave you money back, my drawer would be short.'

'okay...okay, i need to buy these to show someone down the hall and if she doesn't want them, i'll need to return them...'

'she's down the hall?'

'yes. down the hall.'

'i'd have to call a manager if you wanted to do anything with my drawer.'

'would it be easier if i just brought these down the hall and brought them back?'

'i can't let you take them without paying for them.'

'no, i'm not - can i buy these and then get my money back later?'

'i guess - '

finally the purchase was made and i brought the comb and the brush to the producer down the windy hallway.

she looked up from her dinner and pointed to each item and said, 'no, that's a 'fine-tooth' comb and that's a brush.'

i returned them to the gift shop, which a manager was called to. without issue. because they allow returns.

at 9:20, i got to go to walgreen's. i found the exact comb requested and drove back to the hotel. i carried it into the room and handed it to the producer, who gave me a thumb's up sign and said, 'pink?'

an hour later, i was home.

still waiting...

i drove again today.

most of my day was sitting in the car.

not driving.

waiting.

outside buildings.

listening to the radio.

praying my phone didn't die.

waiting.

waiting...

i'm a pa on a commercial today. i was first told that my call would be late, but last night i was informed that my call time was 9am. so here i am.

so far today i've looked at facebook, looked over the map of where to drive peeps later in the day (not sure when), and had to walk to one girl's hotel room (in the maze they call a hotel) to retrieve a brush and hand lotion and bring the brush to someone else's hotel room (on the other side of the maze).

and now i'm back at my computer. hanging out. waiting...

it's sunday. i'm tired. i feel like i'm getting strep throat. i want to be on my sofa looking at my little christmas tree and watching mind-numbing sunday television.

but, as it always goes, doing nothing work on a commercial pays about ten times more than doing something work on a film. it's nice how that works out.

why buy the cow...

we filmed in a dairy today. it was realistic and wonderful that the dairy owner let us film there, and we got some great shots of the cows getting hooked up to the thingamajigs.

but let me say this: that place wreaked. stank, my friends. stank.

but at least it's fun

we shot today out in a small town. very small town. it was like any other day.

- one of the grips was fired and emailed the entire crew to explain that this is the most depressing crew he'd ever been on.
- one of the art department assistants fell of the back of a truck, onto his head. he refused to go to the doctor or hospital, so our medic gave him a muscle relaxer...and then he drove himself home.

- our makeup artist slammed her head into the door of a minivan and couldn't stop crying and felt nauseated, so i was asked to drive her to the emergency room (back in town).

- it took seventeen takes and two and a half hours to get the last shot, which was supposed to be the 'quick' one.

- the second a.d. can't seem to get the call sheet to attach in an email, which means she can't send it, which means i can't get it, which means i can't send it out, which means i can't go to sleep.

- i'm starving.

ADDED:

- our lead actress accidentally punched the truck during a scene and i got to take her to a hand specialist. no break. just a bone bruise. and so we returned to set and continued filming.

ADDED:

- an unpaid production assistant got into a car accident.

charming fellas

currently waiting in a holiday inn to pick up the lead actress to bring her to set.

i just got off the phone with the director's mother when a gentleman sitting at the lobby computer turned around and said, 'you ever seen one of those?'

i did not know what he was talking about, but soon found out that he was referring to a gas powered remote control car. and no, i had not heard of them. but he has one. and apparently they go fast.

it was a harmless conversation, but he's wearing a muddy camouflaged hat with a rebel flag on it and i just wonder why stereotypes have to come true.

i think it's a sign from the universe that this will be a great day. great day. good times indeed.