all our pain

i think this morning was an over-reaction by everyone involved. i'm embarrassed that i cried, but grateful that i was alone in the office and only one person witnessed it over the phone.

and i've somehow hit the wall where the idea of working or accomplishing anything seems like the most overwhelming task and really, all i want to do is nap. i've been working like mad, but somehow it now takes me ages to do anything.

only two and a half more weeks. and then, "we shall rest. i have faith, uncle, fervent, passionate faith. we shall rest. we shall rest. we shall hear the angels. we shall see heaven shining like a jewel. we shall see evil and all our pain disappear in the great pity that shall enfold the world. our life will be as peaceful and gentle and sweet as a caress. i have faith; i have faith. my poor, poor uncle vanya, you are crying! you have never known what it is to be happy, but wait, uncle vanya, wait! we shall rest. we shall rest. we shall rest." - uncle vanya

... i'm sunburnt.