attractive ladies

what makes you trust someone at their word?

ATTRACTIVE LADIES,DONT PASS THIS UP!  

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE GREAT MONEY DAILY,MAKE YOUR OWN HOURS AND BE YOUR OWN BOSS, SOUND TO GOOD TO BE TRUE, ITS NOT! WE DO ALL THAT RIGHT HERE, MAKE BETWEEN $1000-$2000 WEEK WORKING PART TIME. NO SEX! NO SEX! THIS IS A REAL AD. INTERVIEWING ALL WEEK, SEND A PICTURE AND NUMBER TO BE CONSIDERED.

i didn't believe the ad at first that it there was no sex included, but since it was repeated...i am now assured.

already painted

let's take inventory. what to i have going for me?

i'm an extremely talented performance artist, i have free time, subtlety is my middle name, i blow people away with my powerful expressions, i have a great comfort in being nude, and i have gallons of body paint at my disposal.

there must be something out there meant just for me...

Painted Nude Performance Artist Needed for Event

[Gallery] seeks nude performance artist who will be covered in body paint for one evening during our upcoming nude biennial group exhibition. We are looking for someone who can ideally show up already painted or at least provide their own body paint. This artist's performance will be quiet in sound, subtle in movement, and powerful in all expression otherwise. The main qualification is to be comfortable being nude in public.
Compensation is $100.

well,
i could use the hundred bucks.

give it a trim

your career path begins here:

Scissor Trimmer - Right Handed
Operning for right handed trimmer to use scissors to trim award emblems for High School (letters, patches etc). good eye-hand coordination and crafting skills helpful.
Available hours are 8am - 2:30pm OR 10am - 6:30pm
$7.25/hour to start. Training is provided. 

two shifts. for trimming. seriously. how much trimming could they possibly have? and what does the training include? and what if i'm left-handed?

...i wish i had better eye-hand coordination

1st & last

the perfect job should be, above all things, delicious.

Tobacco Dip Taste Test

I have a 2 visit tobacco dip taste test, that pays $75 on 2nd visit.
1st visit you pick up product & take home to try and fill out a questionnaire
2nd visit you turn in the completed questionnaire and receive $75 cash
to see if u qualify, email me the following: (note, if you do not supply all the info, I will delete your email and not call you)
1st & last name
age and gender
brand, flavor and what cut length or pouch user
MOST IMPORTANT: phone #

tempting...but i sure as hell won't tell a complete stranger that i'm a pouch user. my mother doesn't even know.

looks looking look

this sounds like the hardest way to make thirty bucks.

I'm making a short film (very short) that I believe will take an hour or so to shoot. You take home $30.00 for a very easy days work plus a small meal.
I need either a man or woman who looks between 18 to 22 years old and is androgynous looking.
Examples of the look I'm trying to find:
* Pee Wee Herman
* Bjorn Andresen
* Justin Bieber
* Leif Garret
* Tim Curry
* Bill Kaulitz (Tokio Hotel)
* Chris Crocker
This role requires no acting ability, only a willingness to peform some very modest stuntwork so please only people with no back problems or recent surgeries need apply.

on second thought, i'll do anything for a small meal.

relaxtion

RELAXTION SPECIALISTS

IN NEED OF RELAXATION SPECIALISTS.
PLEASE REPLY IN EMAIL YOUR PICTURE AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER
MUST RECEIVE PICTURE
I WILL CALL TO SCHEDULE INTERVIEWS
PLEASE ALSO LIST ANY EXPERIENCE AND POSSIBLE WORK SCHEDULE

i think someone needs to relax.

complete garbage

i'm working on a film to be shot this summer and i'm in charge of posting the audition notices - so i went to my trusty ol' craigslist and the first email i received was from a lovely gentleman, who wrote:

this movie sounds like the worst movie ever...
you should just not make it..
if you ever start making a movie that isn't complete garbage let me know

and i will let him know. he seems really fun to work with.

prominent nose is preferred

hear that?

Steve Martin Lookalike

Need an actor bearing a STRONG resemblance to Steve Martin to sit for a photograph. While a caucasian male, age 50-70, with grey hair and a prominent nose is preferred, we will consider anyone bearing a very strong resemblance. Compensation will be very good depending on the resemblance...

that's opportunity knockin.

stay consistent in your work ethic, lazy people

he/she sounds like a joy to work for (if you are teachable!):

Assistant

If you are ambitious, motivated and teachable, I will train you personally to make a comfortable income, and all you need is to be willing to follow instruction to the detail, and stay consistent in your work ethic, lazy people move on because I do not have time for your excuses!

If you are interested in starting right away, then email your name,number, and best time to call when you are in front of a computer with about 10min. free so I can qualify you over the phone, thank you for your time!

one thing you will be taught is the art of the run-on sentence.

womans

i like job postings that are clear up front.

very large busty woman wanted

100 for sitting fee we pay you for womans calender being made serious females only please cup size bigger than e please forward a picture to us cash up front

yet another moment in my life i wish i had a bigger chest and lower standards. i could use a hundred bucks right now.

paper and pictures

for anyone who's detail-oriented and looking for an exciting career in textiles...

Origami Expert Needed

I have a book with paper and pictures of how to fold an origami train. Small job for you, impossible for me.

it's only part-time. no compensation is listed, but i'm sure it would be worthwhile.

the taxpayers

i love response posts.

RE: Overnight sitter

15 dollars for the night... honey this aint india anymore 15 dollars will cover the calories you use watching ur kid. im gonna help you out if you want people to watch him the going rate for a cheap sitter is 10 an hour

it's true. this is no longer india.

RE;MOTHER'S HELPER

ARE YOU FOR REAL? 5 DOLLARS AN HOUR FOR COOKING, CLEANING, IRONING AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR KID? AT LEAST OFFER MINIMUM WAGE, AND EVEN THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!

ironing would set me over the edge too. but not everyone is that expressive. the meek have a voice too.

re PC Technician

15 per hour is not much to live on. how can anyone survive on that

ah, the meek. they shall get a handsome income someday when they finally get that inheritance.

Re: Full time Technician (roadtohell) (Communist’s Dreamland)

Here is another one XXXXX

with $14 /hour, but there is a catch – in addition to Active Directory, GPOs, firewalls, sales experience and certifications, they want you to use your own car and have clean driving record. This is f**n’ unbelievable!!!

Next thing you know, they'll want you to pay them for employing you...

is it the clean driving record that's most "f**n' unbelievable!!!"

RE: Drrivers Wanted

Besides the fact that this place advertises constantly (3rd time just this week) in a field (courier/messinger) where the majority of companies have lost up to half of their business (so they basically "COLLECT" drivers just in case they have a busy day every now and then) rumor has it that we (the taxpayers) basically financed their kids summer vacation (layoff from the family business ,collects unemployment so they don't have to pay him, & is suddenly now back with the company).

i (too) am a fan of parenthesis. without the parenthesis, he said,

Besides the fact that this place advertises constantly in a field where the majority of companies have lost up to half of their business rumor has it that we basically financed their kids summer vacation.

who (for one) is spreading that rumor? i thought summer vacations were free (even poor children have them).

RE:RE:==Windows 7 deployment technician needed! Limited experience (roadtohell)

$12 an hour was the old rate, now it is $10 an hour.

Just take the job and then just steal what ever is not nailed down. And make sure you steal data. Their competition will pay you for their customer list and other info. *.pst files are loaded with useful data.

If they do not fairly compensate you for your skills, then turn your skills againts them.

um...

remove removal

do you ever have to repeat yourself to get noticed?

removal of small rock pile

remove small rock pile

removal small rock pile

remove small rock pile

and sometimes one word can make all the difference.

non-sexual

craigslist ads, sooner or later, always find their way to the stripper/pole dancer/prostitute in so many words positions and, to be honest, it gets old. but sometimes something strikes me as strange.

for ins...

Hiring non-sexual escorts for immediate work [they amazingly make the word 'non-sexual' seem sexual and perverted]

XXXX's #1 Agency for your Bachelor Party Dancers, Escorts, Private Parties and 1 on 1's in the XXXX area [because nothing here, in any way, seems like it would lead to any type of sexual situation whatsoever]

We are very private - and anyone over 18 is welcome to apply. [are these two thoughts connected?]

This is legal, legit and non-sexual companionship. [this is overreaching]

We are currently looking for independent escorts (ages 18 and over) looking to be a part of our team and make some [?] great income! [i'm over 18, looking to be a part of a team, and want to make 'some great income,' and what's more fun is that i love non-sexual situations!]

Email us your name, age, telephone number and at least two photos to [nothing comes after 'to']
(Please send photos before you call to set up a time to come in) [understandable]

We need girls able to start immediately.
If you can come in for an interview tonight, you can start tonight. [i can interview and start tonight? bingo bango]

non-sexual is natural. non-sexual is fun. not everybody does it. but everybody should.

infomation avaiable

just some things i noticed

Babysitter Avaiable

Infomational Surveys

1995 GMC Sierra 1500 sle($2,200) [found in etc. jobs]

i wish them all good luck.

renting chocolate

i like chocolate and i like partying. hmm, i wonder if there's something out there just for me...

Chocolate, Partying. Need I Say More?

Chocolate, Partying.
Need I say More?
You can actually make money by renting chocolate fountains and attending events/parties.

If you're interested, please email resume.
Please email any questions or concerns.

• Compensation: $25-$30 per chocolate fountain rental.

i believe that yes, you need say more.

question(s): do i just lug this fountain to random 'events/parties'? do i need an invite? will people pay me once i arrive because i brought the coolest, oversized piece of shit? if it is such a hit at parties, can i go back in time and gift it to my even dorkier self - and perhaps change history and become really cool all because of a chocolate fountain rental and time travel?

i believe it can be summed up by the genius that is 'some kind of wonderful':

"to win big, you gotta do what?"

"lose."

"lose big. what are we doin now?"

"we're losin big."

back in old napoli, that's zamboni

how many times can you say 'zamboni' before the word becomes meaningless?

Zamboni Driver - Ice Rink

Part-time Zamboni drivers wanted for ice rinks in XXX. Must have valid drivers license and able to drive and operate Zamboni. Please reply and answer the following questions [zamboni]. 1. What town do you [zamboni] live in? 2. Do you have a car? 3. Where did you learn how to drive the Zamboni?

We will contact potential employees with a [zamboni] phone interview.

i hope they do more than a phone interview. yikes.

peanuts

i recently had to help a friend post something on craigslist and this is not a simple task.

Re: Household Help Part Time THIS IS EXACTLY A SLAVE JOB! ($8/hr? WOW)

Crazy lady.

• Location: $8/hr? WOW
• Compensation: peanuts

so if you're going to go through all that work anyway, i mean, come on...give us a little more of a rant than that.

toddlers for low pay

more passive aggressive, frustrated job hunters who use craigslist as therapy...

RE: CHILDCARE IN OUR HOME MON-THURS, needed ASAP!!!!

Roughly $6.25 an hour to care for two children and clean your house? Are you insane? Pay may increase if you are a super-experienced nanny and can commit long-term slavery? Wow. Some weekends and nights, too? Do you spend any time with your children?

Compensation: Long hours with toddlers for low pay

i was once offered 8 an hour to watch a toddler and if i felt i deserved more money (this was how she worded it), i was to clean her house as well (she has two large cats with a lot of hair). anger still erupts when i think of this conversation, but my situation was with a friend (yep. a friend. someone i've known for years.), so i got to release my anger in the old fashioned way - gossip.

i would pay for each breath

i guess we all wonder if our breath is bad. usually, we find a piece of gum or a mint, maybe drink a bit more water, or, you know, hire someone...to, you know...

Tell Me If My Breath Smells for $600 Per Hour

I’d like to be able to occasionally meet someone and have them tell me if my breath smells. I would pay $5 for each breath that you evaluate. At a given meeting, I might only ask you to evaluate one or two breaths. I would pay for each breath evaluated. For example, if you evaluated my breath twice at one meeting, I’d pay you $10.
If your evaluation of one breath takes 30 seconds, that would mean that your compensation would be at a rate of $600 per hour, since $5 in 30 seconds = $10 in 1 minute = $600 in 60 minutes. Thus, the compensation that you’d be getting in this arrangement would be very high compared to the time you’d be spending to get it.
Here are aspects of the arrangement that I’d like to set up:
- You could discontinue the arrangement at any time.
- You would never have to travel. I could come to you.
- If we met at your home, I wouldn’t need to step inside your home, since we would just have a brief interaction and then exchange money.
Please respond only if you meet the following requirements:
- You must not have any habits or physical conditions that could impair your sense of smell. For example, you must not be a smoker or have any nasal/sinus condition.
- You must be willing to be completely honest in your evaluations of my breath. Please don’t respond to this post unless you’d be truthful in telling me your perception of my breath.
So basically, I’m asking for honesty and a good sense of smell. If you meet those requirements and you’re interested, please email me with a description of your location, so I can estimate how long I would have to travel to meet you. Telling me your neighborhood or major cross streets would suffice.

is this a fetish thing that i'm not getting?