again!!!!

i took the long-ass career assessment test again. i took it in february 2010 and laughed at it because it said i should be a funeral director.

i just retook it and guess what came up as the first career meant just for me?
that's right - funeral director.

w.t.f.

ill

smeller stayed home today.

who am i and why i am i here?

i currently doubt the career decisions that have made me the temp you see today.

to fight these feelings of regret and self-hatred, i decided to take a career aptitude test while at my temp job.

here are a few questions posed to me:


Do you own a pet with fur?
Would you or have you ever intentionally hurt an animal?
Have you ever enjoyed reading Popular Science magazine?
Is it okay to get drunk once per week?
Do you blame your parents?
Are you completely full of crap?
Are you good at jigsaw puzzles?
If no one was looking, would you pee in a public place, such as a pool?
Are you a total slob?
Have you ever been thrown out of a bar?



this test assessed that i should be a nurse.

ADDED: i found another test and it states that i am perfectly suited to be an accountant. i want to cry.

stuffed up

smeller went home sick.

i have nothing to do.

nope.

nothin.

knew how to quit (you)

if you want to feel out of sorts whilst sitting in a lifeless cubicle with mundane office chatter about, please read either the short story or adapted screenplay of brokeback mountain. it will successfully stick in your head and rumble in your stomach for hours to come.

i have an assignment for school to write a paper comparing the two versions and i thought, hey, why not take advantage of the loads of free time here at this temp job to get some work done? i've already read other scripts while here (the devil wears prada, big, garden state, being there, and the wizard of oz to name a few) so i didn't think too much about it.

and then i read brokeback mountain.

and now i feel strange.

and wanting.

just like ennis. and jack. and probably alma. and every other character.




craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

bernie

a conversation i witnessed yesterday at a thornton's:

man: you should see 'bernie'?
woman: you mean 'weekend at bernie's'?
man: no 'bernie.'
woman: is it the one where the man is dead, but they have to pretend he's not?
man: no. this is a new movie. with jack black. called 'bernie.'
woman: oh...i haven't seen it.

utter hell

forgive me for i have sinned. it has been years since my last post.

i'm writing from hell - aka a temp job. my lovely temp company assigned me to this post back in april for "a three-week job" and I have been here ever since. they tell me it now goes until the end of august, although they've told me it goes to the end of every month and yet it keeps extending into oblivion.

i sit. 

and wait for something to do. luckily i have my school work with me so if i have enough time i can get some things done, but mostly i just waste my brain cells on the information superhighway searching and searching for what i really want to do with my life.

the woman i work with and sit beside in our lovely cubicles continues to refer to her nose as her 'smeller.' for instance, 'my smeller hurts' means that she has a sinus infection. 'my smeller's broken' apparently means that her nose is stuffed up and she can't smell anything. it's quite poetic.

the vice president left a xerox copy of a picture of gnomes on a rooftop on my desk one morning with the words 'how many gnomes in this picture?' i counted eight, but still not sure why i even cared enough to count.  smeller stared at the picture over my shoulder for a longer than comfortable time and she finally said, 'i don't know. i don't see any. and now i'm paranoid it's some sort of rorschach test, but am afraid to ask. 

i suppose i shall now return to putting invoices in order and highlighting them on a sheet when they're complete - a strangely and surprisingly satisfying task.