cat excrement and/or rat droppings

i like harry potter as much as the next guy, but...

"CALLING ALL WIZARDS!!!"

Greetings fellow wizards!

I am currently looking for a slew of wizards to assist me in my daily activities. Duties include, but are not limited to: quidditch, creating new potions and ethers, cleaning up owl droppings, cat excrement, and/or rat droppings. NO SLYTHERIN STUDENTS ALLOWED. SNAPE SUCKS! No first year students please, students of GRYFFINDOR preferred and are encouraged to apply. Must have own broomstick, and a sufficient wand. Please help me combat "HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED".

• Compensation: 7.25-9.00/HR depending on experience. Salary positions available!

a few questions:

1. ummmm...wtf?

2. how old is the person who wrote this ad?

3. is there an actual job involved?

4. did the word 'pedophilia' leap into anyone else's brain?

5. i'm only a hufflepuff, so does that mean i don't even have a chance?

6. how do i know this wasn't written by volde - 'he who shall not be named' just to lure us in?

7. will harry potter be there?

8. if i'm an excelled first year, can i still apply?

9. how can it possibly pay anything?

10. uh...still...wtf?

so, i wrote an inquiring email to the posting:

Hi,

I saw your ad on Craigslist and I am the wizard you are looking for!!! I'm a Hufflepuff, but still great friends with Gryffindors and I definitely want to combat "He Who Shall Not Be Named."

This sounds like the opportunity I've been waiting for and I can't wait to learn more!

What do I need to do?

Thanks,

laura latchkey copernicus

here's hoping i hear back.