i would pay for each breath

i guess we all wonder if our breath is bad. usually, we find a piece of gum or a mint, maybe drink a bit more water, or, you know, hire someone...to, you know...

Tell Me If My Breath Smells for $600 Per Hour

I’d like to be able to occasionally meet someone and have them tell me if my breath smells. I would pay $5 for each breath that you evaluate. At a given meeting, I might only ask you to evaluate one or two breaths. I would pay for each breath evaluated. For example, if you evaluated my breath twice at one meeting, I’d pay you $10.
If your evaluation of one breath takes 30 seconds, that would mean that your compensation would be at a rate of $600 per hour, since $5 in 30 seconds = $10 in 1 minute = $600 in 60 minutes. Thus, the compensation that you’d be getting in this arrangement would be very high compared to the time you’d be spending to get it.
Here are aspects of the arrangement that I’d like to set up:
- You could discontinue the arrangement at any time.
- You would never have to travel. I could come to you.
- If we met at your home, I wouldn’t need to step inside your home, since we would just have a brief interaction and then exchange money.
Please respond only if you meet the following requirements:
- You must not have any habits or physical conditions that could impair your sense of smell. For example, you must not be a smoker or have any nasal/sinus condition.
- You must be willing to be completely honest in your evaluations of my breath. Please don’t respond to this post unless you’d be truthful in telling me your perception of my breath.
So basically, I’m asking for honesty and a good sense of smell. If you meet those requirements and you’re interested, please email me with a description of your location, so I can estimate how long I would have to travel to meet you. Telling me your neighborhood or major cross streets would suffice.

is this a fetish thing that i'm not getting?