schoolmarm

i have been asked to teach in a one-room schoolhouse.

seriously.

we have family friends who home school their three children on their farm...their extremely old-fashioned farm. they don't have a tractor, they have a mule and a thingy pulled by the mule. they can food for the winter and make their own cheese and crazy shit like that. and behind their house, wooden planks hover above the mud and lead you to a really, really old one-room schoolhouse (wood-burning stove included).

someone already comes in to teach history once a week, and music, i think, and now they've asked me to be the english teacher...or writing...or something in that regard (clearly, i'm a master of the language).

and I’m insanely excited about it.

why, you may ask...well, i shall tell you.

for the majority of my youth and into my adulthood, i was obsessed (and 'obsessed' puts it mildly) with 'anne of green gables.' and so even though it's 2010 and i'll be wearing jeans and old clogs most days when i head up there, this is how i picture myself in my new found career...

word about whatever

details are sooooooo tedious.

Accepting six to ten people for this..

I don't want to take up too much time so very briefly I am someone who works to introduce individuals to companies who want to spread the word about whatever they provide. You will be able to tryout all sorts of unique things. Perfect for anyone's schedule since it can be done whenever..

and anyone who wants specific information is an asshole.

just words on a page

not that everyone has to be shakespeare, but...

Atv and more

i have been working on gocarts and dirtbikes for 5 years now i know just about what there is to know so if u need my work give me a call u wont be dissatisfied. My labor and charge goes as if its goimg to be a two day job then i just charge 25 a day and if its going to be just a two or three hour job the i charge 8 dollars an hour and i give u the price and what parts is needed before i start on it to let you know if your willing to go ahead with the process i give receipts and proof of everything being transacted and done dealing with labor and parts etc. so if you in need to get something going that is just sitting around give me a call at XXX-XXX-XXXX. serious inquires only.

actually, i feel extremely guilty for posting this, but it's just, you know, come on, man...come on...

hackintosh

i have absolutely no idea.

loking for help with a deploying osx on a hp mini

seriously. wtf?

bad-asses and sexy girl friends

wanna be in a movie?

we need some one with a bad-ass hayabusa [the suzuki hayabusa is a sport bike motorcycle] to show off there bike in a movie . [ .]

please if you have a Bad-ass busa [the busa language is a language isolate in northwestern papua new guinea] please send me pics with your contact info

you will get a copy of the film showing off your bad-ass busa
we need you to ride it off screen at the end of the movie with a smoking hot girl thats it !!!! [ !!!!] [smoking hot girl is it !!!!]

we will only pic[k] one hayabusa [hayabusa 隼 is japanese for peregrine falcon]

since my hayabusa is not 'Bad-ass,' i searched to see if they were casting for any other parts:

we need a few sexy females for extras in a film we are shooting . [ .]
these are non-paid parts and a couple parts have very small talking roles.
please contact me here and send a pic with your contact info . [ .]
these do not require a lot of acting , [ ,] [shock-ing]

the parts we are looking to fill are The Mob Bosses Girl friends [ie friends who are girls, not 'girlfriends'] and just sexy females walking around his office and night club. [you know, just bein cool. talkin. hanging out. bein sexy around the office and night club. maybe leaning over or somethin. no biggy.]

we need about 8-10 very sexy females . [ .] [i've never been so skeeved by the overuse of the word 'females.']

i need to stretch.

we shall overcome

i headed out to the last (hopefully) of my mentor meetings and arrived (two hours) early so i wandered around downtown to pass the time in the godforsaken heat that is this summer.

as i waited for borders to open, i saw a protest going on down the street, so i hustled to find out what the haps was all about.

getting closer i heard the chant 'you've got yours we want ours' and saw signs proclaiming 'equal rights for adopted people' (i'm assuming it's because of the buses, water fountains, etc.).

it was like any other protest, except not. there were about 25 or so protesters...and no opposition. no counter-protest. no popo. just a group of people with posters, capri shorts, good walking shoes, and a bullhorn...wandering around across the street from the visitor's center downtown.

the woman with the bullhorn tried to hand it off to another woman, and because it was left on, everyone on fourth street got to hear that one woman has issues speaking in public and just can't - NO, she just couldn't do it - 'please, no, janeane, you know this is not something i feel...'

so then it fell into the hands of a very sarcastic young man in a tie-dyed shirt:

sarcastic guy: what do we want?
protesters: our birth certificates!
sarcastic guy: and when would we like to have them?
protesters: now! (the passive aggressive in the crowd shouted 'soon!')
sarcastic guy: is this asking for anything special?
protesters: no!
sarcastic guy: you mean all we want are our basic rights?
protesters: yes!
sarcastic guy: that's too much to ask for, don't you think?
protesters: ...confused shouting...

the main woman took the bullhorn back and tried her hand at it again.

woman: what do we want?
protesters: our identity!
woman: when do we want it?
protesters: now!
woman: why do we want it?
protesters: ...confused shouting...

so, there were a few hiccups with the call and response, but the t-shirt of a young woman summed it all up:

i'm adopted and i vote in NJ.

point made.

(no, this did not occur in new jersey.)

geeks just wanna puke on you

we all have triggers. sometimes it's traffic or maybe it's a restaurant getting your order wrong. (or, if you're like my college roommate, it's the words 'lotion, tissue, and bikini' and anyone who ends a sentence with a preposition.)

and sometimes it's a craigslist ad. (i believe it speaks for itself.)

Media Developer- Graphic/Print/Video Designer SIKE SIKE SIKE (LAND OF GET REAL!!!!!!)

Below is just what makes me sick about companies not paying talented people what they are worth... $15.00 dollars an hour? ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY!!!! are you purposely trying to take advantage of the recession and all the people that are outta work right now....

THIS IS A JOKE PEOPLE... YOUR AD I WISH I COULD FIND OUT WHO IT WAS FOR... BECAUSE IT MAKES HONEST HARD WORKING NERDS and GEEKS JUST WANNA PUKE ON YOU.....

THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND I AM OUTRAGED!!!!

DANK gonna have to slap somebody!!!!!!!

O and now your ready to hire someone... please reply again.... YOUR A STRAIGHT LOSER!!!!!

KICK ROCKS!!!!!!

with all that skill you should be able to call your own pay for hours.... dont be fooled your worth more than that...

this rant is then proceeded by the original ad, which seems so sweet and meek compared to the attack...

Media Developer- Graphic/Print/Video Designer

...We're a small, rapidly-growing company looking for a "jack of all trades" to help with our media needs. This individual should be able to perform a wide range of tasks throughout the course of a 3 month contract period with the potential for extensions or a full-time position...

The *preferred* candidate would have a 4-year bachelors in a Graphic Artist / Video Production Specialist career field OR Minimum 4-years of combined experience (portfolio would be required along with any examples of work completed)...

The pay is $15/hr starting ($33k/year) with raises possible, especially for excellent work and/or if the position is extended or made permanent (at which time health benefits, etc would commence).

We have a cool, loft-style atmosphere with a laid-back, fun staff...

Thank you.

yes, i agree with the 'HONEST HARD WORKING NERDS and GEEKS' that this is a pretty tall order for 15 bucks an hour, but it's probably worth it since it's 'a cool, loft-style atmosphere with a laid-back, fun staff.'

but, then again, 'DANK' really is gonna have to slap somebody, so...

p.s. KICK ROCKS!!!!!!