Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I'm concerned you're tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.

- C. C. Baxter, The Apartment

Friday, July 23, 2010

taken in marriage

i've never mourned the fact that i'm not married...until now.

married couples earn x-tra $$$

Good morning – afternoon – evening local couples [charming intro. i want to be their friend.]

We are in need of couples that would like to earn x-tra $$ on a wkly. basis and can attend one of our open house’s this week and here’s why. [definitely lures me in with the fun way they use text language for words like 'x-tra' and 'wkly.' it saves loads of space. it tells me they're fun, cool, and people who like to party. and really, i want to know what that house has.]

We want you to learn about our products and our company plus you will earn $100 for a few hrs. of your time at our open house. After this event you’ll be offered a p/t position that will pay hourly with bonuses [define 'open house']

Please complete our on line app. at XXXXXX [where we will ask you how sexually liberated you are. on line. online.]

Someone from our promotions dept. will be contacting you today. Have a great day! [thank you. i will have a great day!]

my goal for the afternoon: scroll through the list of my homosexual friends and see if any would like to pretend to be my marital companion...

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