enough is enough

found an ad on craigslist wanting someone to tend to two 'affectionate, well behaved, spoiled rotten' cats. could i possibly be qualified for this position? let's see...

one of the job requirements states

'--have a professional, "CAN DO" attitude, are responsible, prompt, give 1100%, flexible, not in a "time crunch" & believe cat care IS MORE than just feeding & watering'

hmm...i'm professional, but not really sure how my "CAN DO" attitude stacks up. i'm fairly responsible, embarrassingly prompt, and at the moment not in too much of a "time crunch." the big problem i see is that i DON'T believe cat care IS MORE than just feeding & watering. and in all honesty, i don't think i've ever given 1100%.

in rehearsal once, our director (a strange, disturbingly inappropriate man who loved talking about the sexual proclivities of tree fairies) began with a lecture about the importance of bringing energy to the stage. this was a great problem for all of us in the cast. to start with, we were all involved in other productions, and this show rehearsed at the very end of the day. by the time we rolled in, exhaustion had the better of us and it was like pulling teeth to show any type of excitement or interest in this particular play.

so to inspire us, this lovely director (who was later fired for sexual harassment) gave a speech that rivaled henry v on st. crispen's day and william wallace's inspirational call for freedom. we sat on the floor and the director spoke to us, to the heart of us, and said,

'you have to give it your all. always give one hundred percent.
always! go as far as you possibly can every time. but never
- never - give 110%! when you give that extra 10%, you're
taking it away from someone else. so stop at 100. that's good
enough...okay, let's start tonight with the fairy dance sequence.'

so imagine if any of us had even attempted to give 1100%. the rehearsal space would have imploded.

...i would hate to see what it would do to the cats...